I am here again, wishing that I can at least get a vacation somewhere outside the country. I mean I already accepted the fact that I can’t, that we can’t due to financial constraint and besides my husband did not already made follow ups or maybe did not submit our petition for us to at least live where he resides, or at least have a vacation but there are times that I can’t help to think for us to get a chance, I just don’t know how or when.
I get envious with wives out there who were able to step up, whose family is intact at least. I am envious of those families who at least can get a vacation outside of the country or live outside the country. But they said that we don’t have the right to complain but thankful enough for what we have. Don’t get me wrong I am thankful for the blessings that GOD always bestowed on us, I am thankful that my husband never failed to support us, I am thankful that my kids are with me. It is just that sometimes, I asked why others can have it and I can’t.
One of my friends told me that she’d never lose hope for us, she knew that we can get there I hope it is easy as that. But I know we can’t, we never submitted anything to begin with so how can we? Most often than not, I just lift it all up to the LORD, if GOD want us to stay so be it, I know his plans is bigger than what I have. But I hope at least my youngest daughter have an option, I hope she will have the chance to explore, I hope her opportunity will get broad; I hope my husband will at least think of the possibilities for her. I hope we all have the resources to do all the things we needed to do.
Life begins at forty but I am stuck, I should do whatever things I needed to do but I feel like I am still not moving forward. I am still on the same phase where everyone found me a long time, I thought by this age I already explore the world but nope I am not. I am telling you, there’s a part of my life that I felt so depressed, I felt so left out and I struggle a lot, yes I have my own personal issues.
But I composed myself, I tried so hard to just let things flow, even though I did not achieve the dreams I wanted to have from before, life will go on. My kids are with me and that’s the most important thing in the world. So I went back to work, trying to suit myself for this new adventure and for two years I survived.
I think I will not stop working until my body will weaken, but I am hopeful that my kids are already achieving their goals, when the day comes. Their dream is my dream and I am here to always support them. And who knows they will be the one to explore the world, they will be the one to travel and experience other cultures, the dream that I thought I can get.
Does really life begins at forty? Does it mean adventure, fun or travel? Or is it just a continuation of another struggle? Whatever it brings me, one thing I realized, dreaming is not only reaching for the things you really want, it can be achieve, when your kids will be the one to achieve it for you. And then I would say my life is perfect after all.
It was my first time to speak in front of the people but because it was for m friend C and I know so well that it is the one of the most important event of her life. I faced my fear and I boost up my confidence just to deliver my message clearly to her and to her fiancee. I thought I could not go on but I was so surprised that I did. Maybe I was just too happy for them, for her specially since she has been dreaming of this day would come to her. And finally, it did, I was even teary eyed at the last part of my speech, the message was from the bottom of my heart. I always love that girl, I am always thankful that she became my friend because she was always there for all my special occasions, from engagement party down to my wedding day. And my turn was over and it was nicely done with her and now it is my turn as well to do things for her. For my very special friend, we always love you and I am glad that you finally found your happiness. Please know that I always support you, and I always, also be there for you.
I am so excited, two more days to go and we will be going home. I can’t wait for that day since we already stayed for almost one month. I have so many things I needed to do when I go back home, the car that is under repair now, the payment for the house and bills. Good thing, I have set aside some money and will be using that to pay my bills when we arrive home. My husband spends a lot with this travel and I thank him for the support all the way not only with the competition but also with our getaways. I am just a lucky wife to have a husband like him even though we are miles apart but his support is something I could say he genuinely loved us.
There is one person who told me this that it is better to have a husband who is miles away but you are sure of his being loyal to you than to have a husband beside you yet he had some other woman and even courted more. But I guess it is best to have a husband in your side and there is no other woman involved between the two of you, lol.