The Letter

I cried when Angelica and Anne Curtis talked about their Dad in KrisTV, I just can’t help it because my Dad passed away since I was 9 years and maybe if only he’s here, I would give him the best gift I could ever give him. But if I would write a letter right now to him in heaven, it could be like this:

Hi Papa, how are you there in heaven? I know it has been like how many years that you were taken from us but you know what Papa I still missed you though. Especially if I could watch Dad and daughter bonding in the TV or even at the park, malls and etc. I always wished that you were here Papa, so you could see your granddaughters; you know what papa, and they are all growing up now. Mj likes swimming, she looks like me and I guess she looks like you too because they always said I always like you mostly the eyes. Faith, she is more like me in character, the being stubborn, very adventurous and all that. Do you still remember Papa that I was lost when I was a little because I always want to go to places that I didn’t go before? And when I got back to the market, Mama is not there anymore. I know you both were worried but thank GOD a police came to help me. I could still remember Papa when you tell your friends about me, you would tell them that I am the brightest daughter you ever have. You would always wave goodbye to me when you go to work, and even you are not feeling well, you still would fetch me from school. And when I got sick, when my sisters were too tired to prepare my foods, you were the one who got up from bed so I could eat.  When you got sick and you want me to fan you because you feel like it is too hot and we didn’t had electric fan to used. You told me, I have to be a little patient because when you get your strength back, you would surely buy an electric fan so I don’t have to use fan for you to feel comfortable. But you were not able to get your strength back, the least I could remember is that, I called and shouted your name while I was eating my dinner  because you were there in the ICU struggling for your life. At nighttime, I learned from my sister that you are already gone. I love you so much Papa, and I missed you very much. Thank you for taking care of me when I was just a kid. 
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I only need the $65.00 to be deposited in my paypal and my dream to have my Dad transferred to another memorial park will be realized. I mean the money is already there and it is just need to be deposited, and that’s it. My Dad will have then a proper place to stay for as soon as I could pay the intermittent fee and my promise will be through. The only lacking though is my Mom to be placed beside him. Maybe not this year but soon, I will still save money for that. I’ll just take it one at a time, so I don’t feel rush. 
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Badly Needed That Space

It was such a looong day today, I went to the car shop to return the headlight of my car and exchange it with the right one. Then I supposed to go to the dentist but I was running out of time to meet my sister who was already waiting for me at the mall. So I called my dentist and postponed my appointment, I went to the mall to meet my sister to talk about our contributions for my Dad’s memorial, we are going to transfer his remains to a private memorial park since the one that he had was already demolished. We were trying to reach out with the person who is going to sell her loan at that memorial park that we prospected but we just ended up going to the cemetery and checked the loan that she is selling, the place is quiet good, it is near at the river and what is best for it was it is just a block away where my uncle and auntie were buried. It was indeed a plus factor for us, so we went ahead to meet the owner, she would like to sell that because she would like to apply for another one near at the mall, I don’t know what made her decide to sell the loan that she applied before, maybe she would like to make a peep at the mall when she rested or go shopping whenever she wants to, does ghost really roam around?

Anyway, it is none of our business to find out, we are most concerned how much would she sell that to us, we already have the money and we are hoping she would charge us not that much. As we really badly needed that space for my Dad and thus we can transfer him immediately.

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Nostalgia # 4: When He Was Gone

On May 11 marks my father’s death anniversary, I am not sure what we are going to do, I may go to the church for prayer service during mass. It has been 23 years since he died and I still could not forget the night he was gone. I so long to visit him at the hospital but they said 9 years old or younger are not allowed in the hospitals.
When my sister arrived from the hospital, she cried. I knew then what happened because even before she arrived, I already have premonitions. I was eating my dinner in a distant relative when suddenly I saw a scene, they were crying so hard and I saw some rushing then all of a sudden I screamed so hard that was the time I called my Dad!
My grand mother came in rushing to the kitchen, she asked me what happened. I could not even say a word to her; I looked at her so distant. I didn’t answer her. All I could utter at that time was my Dad.
During the last mass, when the priest asked us to gather in front of his casket, I saw my sisters crying. When I looked the people at my back, I saw my Dad; he was looking at himself inside the casket. He looked at me so sad, I know he was not ready to leave us yet, I know he wanted to comfort us right at that very moment.
To my Dad, we always missed you, even though how many years had passed that you were gone, we never forget you. Thank you for the care and the love that you showed us, you are always in our heart.
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